Mi2ziNN0C3Nt's Xanga

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 07:25:30 GMT

hello hello,

this month has been pretty busy for me! a lot of stuff have been going on, i feel like my life has really been unfolding this month.

first off, if you hadn't already known, i've been considering public relations as my major. two years ago, i was in the activities and recruitment committee for my organization, californians for justice. jaydi was chair of the committee at the time, and i became really active in the committee. i helped jaydi plan some events, and i even got a chance to completely lead an event--a whole day in san francisco, including a tour of SF state, while incorporating cfj. the event went really smoothly, and i was chair of the committee the following year. i planned two major events, and one or two minor ones. i really enjoyed planning and executing my ideas. even though i don't really get to enjoy the event while it's happening (i'm always like, behind scenes), i felt a really big accomplishment when things went smoothly, or i was proud of myself whenever i had to manuever through an obstacle.

i was in senior year of high school while i was chair of activities and recruitment, and had no idea what to major in. i know most people say they don't figure out their major until their junior year, but i really wanted to get a good sense of what industry i want to get into. so, let's see.. i didn't know what to do. but i knew what i didn't wanna do. i don't want anything medical, scientific, political, mathematical, educational, law-ful or business. and then i started to notice the compliments my supervisors gave me. at cfj, my supervisor frequently complimented me on my organizational and people skills, and she even advised me of majoring somewhere in communications.

i've always known i can write well wheni wanted to, but i definitely didn't want to be a journalist (i felt it was too paperazzi-like), and i didn't know what else to do with my writing. i looked into the communications major, thinking i want to be maybe work as human resource or something, because my mom said it was a good job. as i further explored communications, i realized event planning is actually a job. i always thought that if a company puts on an event, the CEO or managers organized the event. i didn't know "event planning" was a job. event planning is really broad-- it goes from planning weddings to planning banquets for clubs to planning meetings for companies. i was definitely leaning towards the corporation-type event planning. now, most schools do not offer majors (or minors, or anything) in event planning. later on i learned that event planning was a part of public relations. public relations involves event planning as well as promotion-- the job of a public relation specialist is to develop a relationship between a client and the public. like get the public interested in a client (a company or something).

this year in college, i joined an organization called public relations student society of america. there was this event about public relations recently, and the keynote speaker was this lady that does EXACTLY what i want to do! she plans all of a company's big events like recruitment, holiday parties, meetings, and even executed a plan that involved 10,000 people. she mentioned how nobody knows her name--she's like, the behind the scenes woman that does it all, but she mentioned how she deeply enjoys the satisfaction from the event's attendees. i really felt like i knew everything she was talking about, i could easily relate with cfj's events, despite how smaller it is. she told us that every successful event planner must have a timeline/schedule-- she showed us her's for this 10,000 people event, and i thought, i have a schedule EXACTLY like this for a cfj event, and there's even things i can add onto her list.

after speaking with her, i knew i wanted to get into public relations. you see, event planning isn't just making a party. at cfj, we had no money for an event. i had to figure out how are we gonna get money, who's responsible for getting this money, what's the goal of the event, how many guests do we want, how do we get those people to come, what food, how we're gonna get the food, who's gonna make the food (note: cfj tries not to buy food since we have no money), where's the $$ gonna come from, come up with a program, who's gonna do what in the program, who's gonna be host, what if the host flakes out, contacting special guest speakers, figuring out back-up ideas, and definitely #1 is how to get others to help you. i felt that i can handle all this well (fastest was two weeks to put on a 60-guests holiday event)

as some of you guys might know, i work at ku day ta tea lounge in milpitas, it opened 4-5 months ago and business has been okay, kinda slow. i've been doing more and more public relations-type things like writing its blogs, making flyers, coming up with promotional ideas, emailing our email-list, etc. my boss hired a public relations specialist recently (to help get this place really out there), and i got a chance to talk with her. i learned a lot, and she's gonna let me help out with some of her work for my tea lounge! maybe an internship or job later on, she said. i've seriously been looking for an internship in public relations, on top of my job at ku day ta and 17.5 units. i think this is really the break-through i'm looking for.

you see, i go to cal state east bay, formerly known as hayward state. when i get out of college, i'll have a degree in communications with emphasis in public relations. how many people will have a comm major?! TOO MANY. i know employers look over everyone's resume, but i feel like i have to do more, because i'm not from somewhere as prestigious as stanford. one of my professors advised me to get into the school's newspaper, b/c then i'd have a portfolio along with my degree. i plan on doing that, along with an internship. i'm really aiming for that wow-factor in my resume.

i was thinking about returning to cfj to maybe do some kind of activities work, but decided against it b/c i wanted to do more than cfj (cfj is the only thing on my resume, pretty much!) i really want to get into the professional world of public relations.

i learned recently that CSUEB only has public relations as an option under the communications major. i think i might want to tranfer to university of southern california (usc) since there, they have a public relations major. i know it's not that important to have a major in public relations to get into that industry, but graduating from a school as good as USC would definitely add to my resume.

i didn't think i'd write so much about this, thanks for reading. any comments or suggestions would be great.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 09:02:25 GMT

2008 was a good year, a big growing-up kinda year. i did so many things for the first time, i went to vietnam, i matured a lot, i learned so much about my friends and family, i became so much closer to them, i learned to let go of things, i learned what to fight for and what not to waste time on, i learned to trust, i met people that changed my life, i've been involved in things that have changed me completely, i learned how to deal with people and situations, and i've had the most wonderful boyfriend--i had a teacher that once told me, the person you are between the age 18 to 25 is most likely the person you will be forever, and i hope that's true, because i'm proud of everything i am.

i accomplished very, very few 2008 new year's resolutions. but here's my 2009 list!

1. get an internship for public relations
2. contribute many ideas to help make KDT successful
3. maintain my 3.6 gpa
4. eat healthy
5. keep in good contact with my bro
6. keep all relationships steady
7. learn stickshift
8. add $1000 to my saving's account
9. join and stay involved with prssa at csueb
10. swim a lot over the summer

that's all i can think of for now, i'm gonna try making 2009 a really productive year.

happy new year everyone

Monday, December 29, 2008

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:37:03 GMT

i just got back home from bakersfield and LA (haaay, eileen!) it was cool,

i visited the Hearst Castle in San Simeon! it was hella nice.. i felt like i was in a mini harry potter movie! haha

and also, i went to Desert Hills Premium Outlets in Cabazon (near Palm Springs i think) and i bought HELLA GOOD STUFF w00t if you've never been to this outlet, it's an outdoor outlet like gilroy, but it's a tad bit bigger and has almost all the big brand stores! they have a gucci, a juicy couture OUTLET, d&b, diesel, lucky brand jeans, true religion, burberry, coach, lacoste, and all the regular stores like armani exchange and nike. it was crazier than black friday, i guess it's cuz of the "after-chistmas" sales or whatever! at juicy, everything was an additional 40% off, and they were already outlet prices!! i had to wait in line to enter the store, and i went in like 4 different times LOL and each time i came out with something! the burberry line entering line was hella long! OH, and at coach, they had a six-row line set up. you know, the kind of lines at great america that zig zag? i was in there for days to buy my wristlet.. it was originally $98 and i got it for $46. and i bought three shirts, a wallet, and a hoodi from juicy, idk how much i saved in total, it was a lot though! the juicy hoodie was originally $178 and i got it for $70. my momma bought herself a juicy purse that was originally $190 and she got it for $87! hecka cute. my dad called it a doctor purse, lol. my mom also got like four juicy shirts, including one for her friend. all the tee's were like, only $30-40! originally $58-70.. i also got a red tank top and tee from armani exchange, also on crazy sale.. my mom got a red polo from burberry, too. deng now i really have to save up money! but hey i saved a lot, so PHEW! haha

bought hella stuff in chinatown too.. by the time we were going home, there was no leg room in my mom's van AT ALL. the trunk was completely full, my dad couldn't see a thing if he looked at his rear view mirror. underneath the seats were full, behind the seats were full, in front of the seats were full, and between the seats were full and piled rather high. even on top of the seats were full with jackets and stuff. lol. everyone bought hella stuff and were all happy so its all good lol

here's some pics (sry for bad quality, they're from my phone!)

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 08:13:01 GMT

here is my wishlist! and it's in order by desire for your convenience

1) a wallet

such as a card case from urban outfitters (which i've used before as a wallet before the fabric tore)

or a hinge wallet like vivian's

2) a wristlet from coach,

because i don't carry much to fill a wallet anyways

3) a belt

ok now i'm lazy. i'll put more up later maybe, lol.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:33:41 GMT

happy thanksgiving everyone! i was thinking about writing a blog about me being thankful and all that.. but i did that last year, and it hasn't changed much this year

since tomorrow is black friday, i couldn't help but look at some retailers' websites--particularly betsey johnson! boy, i wish i had some more money to afford all the things i want i love betsey johnson's stuff-- it's so cute and fashionable. also, not all of it is expensive! most of her stuff is very affordable.

Tattoo Chic Barrel
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $88

Tattoo Chic Satchel
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $88

Checkered Cosmetic Gift Set
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $49

I definitely plan on buying one of these three bags. I looove the satchel! I love the color and the size and shape of it. Also I love the first one because of its shape. The last one, I don't know exactly why I like it. I think its size is ideal for all my stuff.

Heart Pendant on Chrochet Cord
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $50

Black Star Case w/ Patent Strap
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $105

I reallyyy like these two pieces of jewelry. I'm not really into real gold, even though I wear a gold necklace and gold bracelets daily. I like the the rustic look of the necklace. Btw, I LOVE LOVE LOVE leather necklaces. I wish Betsey Johnson made one. I like the black star watch up there because I have this weird affection for black skinny jewlery on my wrist. Even when I wear a hair-tie on my wrist, it must be black. It's almost a fashion accessory to me. Getting this cute watch would definititely be an upgrade from my black hair-tie "bracelet".

Babydoll Battenburg Dress
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $340

Evening Royalton Strapless Flare Dress
by Betsey Johnson
Price Tag: $395

Though I don't think I would ever buy the first one, I find it super cute nonetheless. I don't think I'm nearly as petite enough to pull off such a lacey doll-like dress. The second dress, however, I totally would buy it. It's such a cute party dress, perhaps formal enough for prom even!

I hope this blog hints what's on my christmas wishlist.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 06:15:47 GMT

i thought this could be really useful for those who are planning on shopping on Black Friday! it's my news article for my journalism class.

Slug: Black Friday

Headline: The Ultimate Guide to Black Friday

Word Count: 520

By Michelle Thai

Although Black Friday ads aren’t released until the day before, shoppers could do a lot to prepare for this hectic holiday.

Black Friday, the Friday after Thanksgiving in the United States, is widely known as the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. On this day, retailers lower their prices to rock bottom, luring hundreds of customers as early as 12:00AM.

In order to get the best shopping experience, consumers should be wary of things they could do before, during, and after Black Friday.

First of all, shoppers should check websites dedicated to Black Friday for early released ads. ShopLocal.com and Blackfriday.gottadeal.com are two useful websites for Black Friday shoppers. Both maintain and frequently update sections dedicated to ads that include Kohl’s, Circuit City, Best Buy’s, Costco, and Old Navy.

Secondly, shoppers should check on their favorite retail store’s website prior to Black Friday and on Black Friday. Retailers often allow customers to purchase items online and pick it up locally. Some provide additional print-at-home coupons to use in-store on Black Friday.

Thirdly, developing some strategies will help shoppers be ready. Prioritizing items saves a lot of time, and ensures shoppers get what their #1 item. Developing a shopping route may be helpful, too. Not all retailers open at five in the morning. Also, invite a friend along—he or she will end up very useful. Many retailers limit how many of a specific item one customer may buy.

Three Black Fridays ago, Old Navy sold scarves for a dollar each. It was limited to four scarves per person, however. Thankfully, my cousin was with me, and she purchased four for me. Ultimately, I got eight scarves instead of the limited four.

On the day of Black Friday, arrive early and wear layers.

Popular stores such as Fry’s Electronics and Best Buy’s will be crowded with hundreds of eager shoppers. Usually the weather at five in the morning in late November is less than fifty degrees Fahrenheit, but inside the store—it could be as warm as eighty-five with such a large crowd running around, pushing, and shoving for the best gadgets.

In addition, bring cutouts of Black Friday featured items in order to avoid disputes. Waking up before sunrise and fighting crowds is difficult enough. Finally reaching the cashier, the last thing a shopper needs is to find out the item isn’t even a Black Friday item.

Also, ask for gift receipts instead of regular receipts in case the item is faulty, or change of mind.

Consumeraffairs.com said, “Without one, a merchant will issue a store credit for the lowest priced the item actually sold for, not for the price that might have been paid.”

Lastly, the shopping frenzy doesn’t end at midnight. The following Monday, called Cyber Monday, is a newly developed tradition for online retailers to lower their prices. Best Buy’s, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Wal Mart are known to participate. Like Black Friday, prices on Cyber Monday also hit rock bottom.

Cyber Monday’s official website, CyberMonday.com, is a compilation of nearly 500 well-known online retailers. CyberMonday.com quickly direct users to online retailers that are offering discounts.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 05:02:48 GMT

i know i haven't blogged in a while, a lot of stuff have been going on! overall everything has been getting much, much better! !!

first off, ku day ta hasn't had it's grand opening yet, but my coworker says it's coming up soon. the lounge has been open for like.. almost exactly a month now i think? either a month or three weeks, and it's gotten a bit busier! the tips are a lot more now too! and we have a lot of returning customers. i only work tuesdays' afternoons, thursdays' afternoons, and friday nights so i haven't really seen it that busy. but my coworkers tell me that it's pretty busy on the weekend and especially saturday night. so i'm really siked about that. i really love the concept and ambiance of the lounge! and i really love how the customers love the drinks. and i love how this is the closest i'll get to being a bartender without alcohol hahaa i looove working there and i'm really proud of the place. it's still slow but it's getting there, and when it's more popular i'm sure it'll be a big hit. if you've been there, do us a favor and please write a review on yelp! http://www.yelp.com/biz/ku-day-ta-tea-lounge-milpitas

i'm meeting more people at cal state east bay. i'm actually real glad that i chose not to attend sjsu. i mean, so many people i know go there. and honestly this is my opinion: my relationship with everyone i know at sjsu have already been established, i know how close we are and that's probably how close my relationship with them will ever be. so why don't i go to another school, where i don't know anyone, and start brand new friendships that could really go far? does that make sense? if i go to sjsu, i am friends with the same people that i'm not even that close with, but if i go to a different school, i have the opportunity to make new friends that i may become very close with. so that's why i'm glad i go to csueb. i've made a few friends, and there are a lot of really nice, cool, and intellectual people i'd like to get to know.

there are a lot of juniors and seniors in my jounalism class, and it's pretty intimidating, and my professor is such a good teacher that it's pretty intimidating, too. i'm scared i'll say something stupid to him or i won't perform as well as everyone else. but i'm really glad i'm in that class-- i was wait listed #6 and i'm the last one to get in! though i'm not planning on becoming a journalist, i'm really excited about learning journalism and enhancing my writing.

in my public speaking class (yes i signed up for two COMM classes), everyone is such a talker, like everyone is really into class discussions! it's pretty intimidating, but i enjoy it a lot though. i'm getting more comfortable speaking outloud to a bunch of strangers oh and my classmate that looks like ross from friends came up to me after class and told me he liked my topic for an upcoming assignment. it's like those tv drama shows in high school where classmates compliment each other on academic stuff. i feel like such a college student. lol. OH, and i READ during my one hour gap on friday! i never thought i'd do such a thing......... lol. friday is the only day i have a gap. and that gap is the only gap i have. i go to school monday, wednesday, and friday from 8AM-2:30PM and i only have 10 min passing periods between each class! except for fridays with that one gap. it's like high school without break or lunch except on fridays.

i joined a public relations organization and to my surprise, it's just starting out. like, it died two years ago but these two girls are trying to start it up again. i was thinking maybe i shouldn't join because it's not really up and running, but i thought again-- what a great opportunity to get involved in something and to put all my cfj skills into action. so, yay!

mikal and i are doing very good! i feel like i'm getting happier and happier everyday. he is so good to me, and i love him sooooooooo much.

my dad seems to be a lot more okay with mikal and i. also my parents are more okay with me going out a lot. annnd i'm getting kind of closer with my sister. it's always been kinda hard since we're so different and she's not interested in going out and all. but i've managed to coax her into trying out froyo which she totally fell in love with, so nowadays i pick her up from school every once in a while and we'd go get frozen yogurt. it's not much of sisterly love but it's the beginning of what i hope could be a closer relationship.

one of my biggest fears have been deflated! i'm no longer that worried about drifting apart from the cfj crew (i should really stop referring to them as cfj crew lol. but yeah with our frequent roadtrips to visit one another, i really do believe that this is the group of friends that i will grow old with, and i'm so thankful for that.

i wish my essay that's due tomorrow could be this long and this easily thought out. damnit.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:59:31 GMT

i said previously that this blog will be about my summer.. but eh i feel as though i've talked enough about my summer. this summer was pretty awesome, i didn't get to do big things like rafting with mikal like i wanted to, but i enjoyed the summer a lot

mikal and i have been really great, we are so happy! !! not once have we seriously argued. i love him a lot

everyday as one of my friends leave i feel real sad, but i'm confident that we'll all still be close

i know i've been talking a lot about my new work but............ i love working at ku day ta. like seriously i cannot wait to go to work. i know that sounds like workaholic and maybe a bit of a no-life but i hecka love where i work, and i love how customers are satisifed and how some customers are just hecka crazy in love with their drinks. we have HELLA drinks and thankfully i've memorized a lot of them by now.. i've gotten a lot better at serving, too. i don't have to walk so slow when balancing five tall glasses on a tray with one hand anymore! lol. business is picking up, and it's such a good feeling to work hard and see it being paid off. oh btw we get paid for our lunch breaks! my boss says she wants to pay us for our lunch breaks! btw if you've been to the lounge, pleaseeeeeeeee help us out by writing a review on yelp! i'm not asking for a five star, your review would totally help boost the lounge's publicity and help us improve too! http://www.yelp.com/biz/ku-day-ta-tea-lounge-milpitas

i start college on wednesday and i'm excited!

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:35:47 GMT

in an update to my previous blog, everything has been looking so much better.

after three days i got a brand new LG dare and thank god i had backed up everything including my contacts and pictures and videos and ringtones. ya'll gotta use this program if you have verizon: bitpim. it looks like a scam but it's not cuz i use it so much lol. so pretty much i feel as though i had never broken and lost my phone (except that i had to pay a $50 deductible even with my insurance). i'm so happyyyy i feel like i'm connected to the world again lolol

after i wrote my previous blog about ku day ta, i was planning on going to visit the lounge to ask her in person about why isn't she contacting me, but thankfully that morning i checked my email and she emailed me our training schedule. phew i guess i really do hafta be more patient sometimes. i started training yesterday and it was totally an eye-opener. i wrote this on a myspace bulletin already but i'll say it again: i hecka love this place. it's not somewhere where all the teeny-bopping teenagers can hang out at for hours playing their ds with loud kanye songs blasting off our stereos, and it's not a place where you hafta keep quiet like at a border's cafe, it's perfect for anyone who wants to sit and relax, use our wi-fi internet on their laptops, socizalize, and enjoy either a hot exotic pot of tea made with rose petals, dried longans and basil leaves and dried dates, or a cold refreshing glass of tea made of mint, lemon juice, and black tea. people kept asking me is the tea lounge only gonna sell hot pots of tea, and yeah we sell that (and it aint your typical chinese restaurant hot pot of tea-- the tea served in tea pots are HELLA GOOD) but we also serve like a lot of iced teas that will make you smirk at your bottle of lipton rasberry iced tea and arizona green tea. you dont even hafta know much when you come in for the first time, cuz one of ku day ta's main goals is to educate people about all the different teas and what will help you with a particular health issue. i used to hate tea, but now i like it a lot. but anyways, enough with the advertising. i really like working here already, the ku day ta team is real nice people, really diverse-- there's a mexican and a black and a filipino and three asians and two whites and the manager is malaysian with an indian husband. it's different from the theatres because at century, the place was huge-- like 150 employees or something no kidding, and here there's 10 of us. i feel like i'm really contributing to the place and i feel like more of a team. i love working at ku day ta already. the official opening date is this monday the 8th at 10AM, but the GRAND opening is like in two weeks. the difference is, she wants us to have a "soft opening" on monday so that way we can start getting used to everything and work out some quirks and stuff perhaps, and on the grand opening date (tba) she'll be inviting all these people and that's the day that it's gonna be big. but yeah nonetheless come monday haha.

phew good bye unpredictable 35 hrs per week of work at century, hello hella extremely stable 20 hrs at the lounge

mikal and i are doing so much better, i mean, if he reads this he's prolly gonna think there was nothing much of a problem in the first place, but for me it's just i feel like i took a big step forward. i mean it ain't easy to look a problem in the eye, understand you're at fault, and motivate yourself to fix it. most people are like.. "well it ain't going so well, so maybe we're not right for each other, the end." lol but no sirree not mee! i'm trying my best not to get discouraged when a problem arises, and thankfully, we've managed to be real happy.

so summer is almost winding down for me, i start cal state east bay on september 24th, and summer was pretty good while it lasted. my next blog will be about how i enjoyed this whole summer.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 06:22:57 GMT

helloo

these past two weeks or so have sucked major ass, and i'm so frustrated and anxious and disappointed and mad and utterly sad ugh!!!!!!! it's been like.. months since i've felt this upset..

i went to a bonfire last night from like.. 9PM-4AM, and yeah it was pretty fun even though i didn't know most of the people (mikal's friends) but freakin.. i had my brand new LG Dare phone in my jacket's shallow pocket and decided to go to where some people were near the water.. and then i jumped((?) not really but more than walked) onto where the waves were washing ashore and i didn't realize my phone fell out.. and then after a few mins mikal said "whats that flashing light over there" while pointing far out to the water and thats when i realized i didn't have my phone with me.. i am so mad at myself and so sad. thank god i have insurance on it but it's been so freaking annoying.. filling out the claim, faxing the claim, waiting for it to be approved (i'm at this stage right now), waiting for it to come. god i am so impatient and i get so freaking anxious. i am so freaking frustrated with myself!!!!!!!!! i wanted to keep the phone with me in case my dad called...........

a week or two ago i left janelle a voicemail to tell her that i wrote her down as a reference on my application for ku day ta tea lounge. she called me back and left me a voicemail telling me that yeah, the lady called her and she gave a good description of me, yay! but also in her voicemail, she asked me if i was interested in a job internship at cfj.. it was gonna be $12/hr and all i have to do is pretty much teach cfj members how to talk in public, how to facilitate and conduct meetings, how to get allies and supporters, stuff like that-- stuff that i totally knew how to do from my 3-years of cfj experience. janelle told me that there is only one position open, and she's asking me and this other girl if we're interested and we'll both have an interview the next day. i said to myself that there is no way the other girl can get the job over me because i've worked for cfj before ($9.50/hr before but only like 3-6 hrs a week) so i had hella confidence but honestly i didn't know if i wanted to work for cfj.. like this past year with cfj was like cfj's ultimate high, i know next year won't be nearly as great because most of us graduated and all.. so i was hella stressing out whether i should tell janelle if i'm interested or not. everyone told me to persue it cuz it's $12/hr (15 hrs a week) and i would get free weekends, i get to eat while working, my bosses are my friends, and all that great office-job stuff ya know? so i finally convinced myself that i hella want the job. i tell janelle i'm interested and i come in for an interview the next day. the interview went pretty well i think, like there were some parts that i could have done better but overall i was pretty ok with it. then the other girl came in to do her interview. i got a call a few hours later apologizing and telling me that the other candidate is hired. i was so freaking crushed. i worked for cfj for a year, and i worked pretty damn well, i know for sure, and i have been a dedicated member for three years whereas the other girl was not nearly experienced as i am. i mean, nothing personal to her or anything but it just hecka surprised me. i'm really sad. maybe she needed the job, since janelle knew if i don't get the cfj job, i had the tea lounge job.. but still. it hurt me a lot.

the manager of ku day ta hired me a while ago.. like a week ago. in her email, she said it'll open september 8th and that training starts after labor day. and i responded that i accept the job and everything, and i emailed her asking what day to start exactly, and she hasn't emailed me back, nor called me back. that's the first email i left her. second email i told her i cannot work sept 12 and 13 due to orientation to east bay. and she still hasn't responded. i called her today and left her a voicemail to tell her i lost my phone and to call my house phone or email me if she needs to contact me, and she hasn't contacted me at all still. i called my friend who also got hired and the lady told her training will start soon, but didn't say what day yet. i'm not really getting a good impression of my manager. i'm frustrated cuz she hasn't contacted me at all and it worries me that i don't have a cell phone and it saddens me that i must be annoying my manager with all my emails and my constant difficulties (new phone#, lost phone, cannot work sept 12 and 13) ugh this is such bad timing......... the store opens next week and she's not contacting me. maybe i should visit her but i think that's way too assertive.

i've realized i haven't been treating mikal that well. i'm sure ya'll know about how i used to be a real bad gf to my ex's, well, these past few weeks or so i think i've been going back into that direction a lot. i mean it doesn't really show most of the time, it's more like my thinking is becoming how it was.. like when i got back from vietnam a month ago, i started getting nosy about things, got insecure about things, got picky about things.. i'm real disappointed in myself. a boyfriend like him doesn't deserve that at all, and i feel like i'm really letting him down, and honestly i think i'm letting my close friends down too cuz they are as proud as i am about how much i've changed, and to go back to being a needy girlfriend is something that makes me shudder. it wasn't until mikal snapped me back into a reality check that i realized what i've been doing. i was never like that since we first started going out seriously. i'm so thankful that our relationship is so sincere and honest and trusting enough that i dont have to worry about losing him to problems like this so easily. i mean i'm worried about myself and i watch myself more nowadays to make sure i don't do something to cause drama, but i'm glad that like.. i know for a fact he wants to make it work too, that he understands i don't wanna be needy either. i know this may sound hecka corny but his love is so inspiring.

college has been frustrating me too.. like i don't know if i'm choosing wisely, and it really stressed me out to know that i might be wasting a year. i know for sure i want to get a communications major, but i don't know exactly what. i'm pretty sure i want to do public relations.. and i thought for sure that CSU east bay is a pretty good school for that, cuz collegeboard.com didn't say anything about SJSU having communications major.. and then i went on sjsu's website recently and princetonreview.com and i learned that sjsu has a school of journalism and mass communications.. and i thought wtf why am i going to east bay then.. and now it's too late to go to sjsu and i was thinking maybe i should have gone to de anza and transferred to a faraway school.. when it was time to choose a college, i was thinking either deanza and transfer or east bay. i wanna get out fast so i chose east bay. now i don't think that's a great idea cuz i have no friends there and i don't know if it's the right school for me. whatever, next year i'll transfer to sjsu if east bay doesn't turn out too great..

in addition, i'm real sad that my real close friends are leaving. my cfj group makes up like freakin.. the main people in my life. and they're all leaving except ana. it makes me really sad that i'm not leaving too, but it makes me more sad that we're all not gonna be together. i hope if any of us change, it's only for the better.

oh yeah, on a positive note.. for those who know about how my family and aunt's family were bickering for a long time, it's ok now. the money issues finally got resolved and now everybody acts as if nothing has happened. i mean now i watch out for myself and my family more, but i'm so glad and relieved that things are the way it used to be, at least for the most part. that saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone" is so unfortunately true. my family means the world to me and to see it broken breaks my heart. i'm so happy and thankful things are ok now.

lastly,
LIFE'S NOT ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN

thanks for reading if you read this. comments and messages are hecka appreciated, and i know there's a lot of you that read (xanga footprints ya know!) and yeah i probably don't know who you are, but hey, myspace me, email me, comment me, IM me, if you have anything to say at all, advice or not, i'd appreciate it a lot even if we don't really talk